Why The Lasts Are As Important As The Firsts

My daughter turns three in just over a week and we are making arrangements for her to start preschool. It occurred to me that this is the last time I’m going to do this. She’s the last of our three kids to start nursery and never again will we go through all the emotions that go with it.

It made me think of all the other “lasts” that have been and gone. We spend so much time focusing on all the firsts, that the lasts go almost unnoticed. In our rush to hit the next milestone we don’t stop to realise we’re never going to have these moments again. 

As Anna is our final child, these aren’t just our last times with her, they’re the last times EVER. And that brings a lump to my throat. 

Never again am I going to be the mother of a newborn. Never again will I wean a baby. And now never again will I have a two year old.

I have been guilty of looking forward to Anna being a bit older and hopefully (fingers crossed!) slightly less demanding. I now wish I’d spent more time enjoying the present. 

There were so many lasts that went unnoticed. Those moments I didn’t realise would never happen again.

The last time she needed rocking to sleep. At the time I was praying that night would be the one she finally settled on her own. Obviously that night did come and now I can’t help thinking how much I would love to cuddle her to sleep now, but being the independent diva she is, she won’t let me!

There was the last time she fell asleep on my shoulder so I could inhale that sweet new baby smell. I’ll never again hold a child of my own like that, my cheek resting on top of their fluffy little head.

I  remember how she would cruise around the lounge holding onto the furniture. Before I knew it she was toddling up and down the stairs and careering round at break neck speed.

The last time she used the word “coo” instead of cuddle. The last time she wore a baby grow or the last time she drank from a beaker.

The list is endless.

I wish I’d cherished those moments, held her a little tighter, cuddled her a little longer. Enjoyed that feeling of being completely needed.

It’s made me realise we need to slow down. We need to stop being in such a rush to watch our children hit the next milestone and just enjoy these moments.

Rhyming with Wine

26 comments

  1. This made me a bit emotional as I completely understand what you mean. Small Boy is now two and the thought of all his firsts and lasts being all my lasts (there won’t be any more children) makes me feel quite sad. Every stage and age so far has been my favourite but it’s all going too quickly #bloggerpinparty

  2. This is lovely. The lasts really are important. Our last child is also turning 3 next week and I have been thinking about many of these things too. It is very bittersweet.

  3. Awww this has brought a tear to my eye, I want to rewind time!! I’ve got a baby on the way & he will be the last so I need to try & treasure these moments more x

  4. Oh no, now I am sad. My daughter is 3 and starts school this year. Even though she is my only child, I fret that she may be my ONLY child. It is so important to cherish all these last little moments.

  5. Oh I’ve got so emotional reading this, as I’m there too. My youngest daughter is 7 months and changing everyday, whilst my eldest daughter is busy flourishing as she is almost three 🙂

  6. I can so relate to this, my third and final child is three and I spent so much time wishing he would be less demanding. Now he is three and at nursery and I miss the baby days so much and wish I had enjoyed them a little bit more x

  7. I’m on my last baby too and any time I feel like rushing him to potty train or walk more so I can carry him less, I remind myself that I will miss this so much as he does get older. Such a sweet post!

  8. Oh! This is so precious! My first just turned one and we’re talking about number 2. All of the firsts and lasts with this one make me sentimental, but I can’t imagine with the last one! Oh this makes my uterus ache a bit! Thanks for sharing and reminding us all to live in the moment and soak in the precious times.
    #Blogstravaganza

  9. I was thinking this just this afternoon as Kipper finally gave into sleep and let me hold him as he napped. Naps are few and far between now and since I work during the day most days I need to cherish it when it happens. Thank you for the reminder x

  10. My two were born very close together and so I’ve noticed so many baby lasts that have come and gone in a flash. It’s left me feeling so broody! Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza xx

  11. Completely agree! My youngest turns four in May;( I’ll be a soppy mess at the school gates in Sept!

  12. Gosh you are so right. I have done a series for the last three years now called “Month of Firsts” I hadn’t thought to include the lasts. Feel very disappointed in myself now. I guess it is never too late to start #HoneybeeLinky

  13. Lovely post, my little boy turns 3 next month and like you, I can feel all those last moments just slipping away. How fast time flies and I regret sometimes how I haven’t made a big deal out of the little things. I’m going to have to start properly cherishing those first and lasts from now on. #DreamTeam

  14. We just had our last (probably) holiday as a family of 5. I kept noticing the wonderful moments where everyone got a long and we all had fun – all these precious snapshots in my mind. My friend said “you’re so lucky – I didn’t realise our last holiday all together was last year”. (Her 18 year old left a few days in and went back to his friends). But the lasts are also a new first in a way too….#Dreamteam

  15. With like this idea. As babies we do tend to be constantly moving our kids forward to first. You’ll find as they get older you will look at lasts… Last day at junior school, last time they need a mums taxi, last time they want a bedtime story, day of high school….

  16. Made me tear up as I expected it would. We’re considering our family being complete now that we have a daughter + son. While I’m pretty positive I don’t want a newborn again, it is sad to think I won’t have those little cuddles and kisses whenever I want. In some regards, the lasts are more special than the firsts.
    #dreamteam
    Katelynn, hampersandhiccups.com

  17. I have felt like this every time my little girl hit a first as I knew that we weren’t going to have any more children. It made the ling nights a little easier to manage. She wakes up about 530 and then comes into bed with us and we co-sleep which is probably the nicest time now as she is too independent the rest of the time #HoneybeeLinky

  18. Jen I felt every word of this. So many of the things that we take for granted each day can be a last without us realising. But I like to think that parenthood will continue to provide us with firsts for many years to come. 💕 Thanks for linking this with us at #DreamTeam x

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