How To Help Your Children Cope With a Death In Your Family

Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult experiences in life to go through yourself, let alone when you also have children you need to support. You need to try and manage your own grief but also be there for your little ones and help them through it too. There are the practical elements you might need to take care of such as booking a funeral service and informing relevant family members and friends, but you also are left with wondering how to explain death to your kids. While every child grieves in a different way, and their ages can play a huge part, there are plenty of things you can do to make this time a bit easier for them. Keep reading to find out some tips to hopefully help you through. 

Be honest and age-appropriate with them

Children often understand more than we realise, and being honest about what has happened can help prevent confusion and fear. Use clear, simple language that is appropriate for your child’s age. Avoid euphemisms such as “gone to sleep” or “passed away” with younger children, as these phrases can sometimes create misunderstandings or anxiety and they might fear going to bed, or get scared that if you go to sleep you won’t wake up again.

Encourage them to ask you questions

Children are naturally curious and may have many questions about death, funerals and what happens afterwards. Some questions may seem repetitive, but this is often part of how they make sense of a significant loss. Encourage them to ask whatever is on their mind and answer as openly as you can. It’s perfectly acceptable to say, “I don’t know” if you’re unsure how to answer a particular question, rather than say something that might accidentally worry them even more.

Maintain their routines as much as you can

Routines are super important for children anyway, let alone when they are navigating their grief. Life can feel especially chaotic and uncertain after a death, but trying to maintain familiar routines can help your children feel safe and stable in a time when everything all feels different and up in the air. Simple things like going to school, having regular mealtimes and doing normal activities can play a really big role in their healing.

There is no perfect way to help a child cope with the death of a family member, but things like honesty and reassurance can go a long way. By creating an environment that feels safe and where they can ask questions and feel the things they are feeling, you can help them get through it. Remember to also take care of yourself and be kind to you as well as them. It’s tough putting a brave face on for your children so make sure you have people you can talk to as well. What are some top tips you have for helping your children through grief? Let us know in the comments below, we’d love to hear from you.

This is a collaborative post.